In the symphony of life, my journey with soccer composed the first notes of my identity. From the very beginning, I set my sights on the lofty goal of playing Division 1 college soccer. The dream materialized when I became the first on my club team to commit to a Division 1 school – the University of Cincinnati. Excitement filled my veins, but as the season unfolded, the reality of D1 soccer was a stark departure from the vision I had crafted.

Chapter 1: The D1 Dilemma

D1 soccer, once the pinnacle of my aspirations, turned out to be a bittersweet experience. Stripped of the elements I loved about the sport, I found myself grappling with a sense of loss. Was it the overwhelming scale of the competition, the departure of my coach giving me the opportunity to leave if I wanted to or the absence of my family cheering from the stands? Looking back on it now a significant part of this decision weighed on the absence of my mom and day in the stands, which I only realized now. Especially my dad who was a constant presence throughout my soccer journey. His inability to attend games as flying across the country each week was out of the picture created a void that no amount of FaceTime could fill.

The reasons were elusive, but the result was clear – my freshman year concluded with a decision to part ways with the Bearcats.

Chapter 2: A D2 Detour

In pursuit of joy and passion, this time fueled by my mom’s unwavering fire and determination to reignite the love for soccer that she knew still burned within me, I embarked on a journey of recovery. She became not only my pillar of support but also my training companion, breathing life into my tired spirit. I vividly recall a defining moment during one of our runs when, despite my inner doubts, she encouraged me to keep going. “You’ve got this,” she urged. I, the internal skeptic, insisted I couldn’t do it. Yet, with her unwavering support, stride by stride, we conquered that run, and it was literally a turning point.

With the echo of my mom’s encouraging words still resonating, I ultimately transferred to a Division 2 university back in California. The promise of camaraderie with familiar faces from my club team growing up and the assurance of a supportive coach reignited the flames of my soccer passion. A promising spring season unfolded, only to be met with a sudden change – my coach decided to leave at the end of the year.

Transitioning into my sophomore year brought yet another coaching change, marking the arrival of now my third soccer coach in what will be my second year of college. Hope and anticipation filled the air as preseason training commenced. However, the script took an unexpected turn when a cruel twist of fate manifested as a torn ACL and lateral meniscus. This unfortunate injury shattered the rhythm I had painstakingly found, thrusting me into a new set of challenges and forcing me to confront the unpredictable nature of my soccer journey.

Chapter 3: The Climb Back

Twelve months of recovery elapsed, and I faced the monumental task of rebuilding. My junior year was marked by struggles – a faltering mind-body connection, lapses in skill, and the emotional weight of setbacks. Tears were shed, and doubts lingered, leading to a point where I pretty much lost hope and found little enjoyment in my junior year. It became apparent that I needed a change, a break from the familiar.

In an attempt to regain perspective, I took the second half of my junior year to study abroad and train in Ireland. This escape proved to be transformative, offering a valuable opportunity to step away from the demands of college soccer. The unique setup of Division 2 athletics allowed me to prioritize personal growth and exploration, reminding me that I am not just an athlete but a student with the freedom to chart my course both on and off the field.

Chapter 4: A Coach’s Redemption

Senior year brought a new coach, a beacon of hope who rekindled the essence of soccer that had been lost. Resilience, determination, and mental fortitude became my allies as I navigated the challenges thrown my way. Though the position I finished my college soccer career in differed from where I started, the lessons were profound.

In Conclusion:

College soccer, with all its trials and triumphs, forced me to confront the inevitability of change. As I hung up my cleats post-graduation, I carried with me the resilience, the lessons in improvement, and the mental strength instilled by the game. Soccer, once the defining note of my identity, became a chapter in the symphony of my life, a melody that continues to resonate as I redefine myself beyond the pitch.